What is Self-Worth and How Do We Increase it?

WITH THE TITLE today we are talking about confidence knowing your work a little bit of my own story all of that together at the end of the day i feel like confidence and how you value yourself how you view yourself your self-wort everything is the foundation of your life right so these are the things that you need as a strong foundation for you to move forward so it's important for me to come on here and make sure y'all's foundation is cracklist okay crackless and this video was sponsored by victoria's secret pink so see it that's why i threw on one of their zip up hoodies today because i just want to be in a comfortable mood talking to you guys about this i want you guys to feel comfortable with methis is a safe space so pink is standing for mental health and partnering with the jed foundation you might be asking me what is the jet foundation what is it well the jet foundation is a leading national non-profit that supports the mental health of young adults and teenagers so victoria secret pink i also posting tips article's experiences resources all of these things to help break the stigma and start the conversation vs pink has also sought out help from experts and professionals to help us make mental health care in general just mor accessible to our communities they're also providing free resources and they are committed to creating a positive mental health environment to nurture themselves and their team members vs pink knows that the struggle is real for us sometimes okay we have work school relationships a lot of times with the self-doubt that can come with all of these things it can really bring us down but you are not alone you have me and that's why we are partnering to make sure that you guys have a community this is why pink wants to share and amplify the stories of young people like you guys who have overcome obstacles and failures and so much more to find the truth ou that you are unequivocally enough and i've had to go through this myself and that is what we're going to talk about in today's blog, how i got through it how you can ge through it how you can get to your most confident strong standpoint because i want to see you guys win when and when again so before anything else i'm here to remind you that you are worthy and you are enough let me say it again just because you didn't hear me you are worthy you are enough i promise i want you guys to comment down below what inspires you every day and use the hashtag i am enough to inspire others so let's just do this but first if you haven't subscribed to my blog post yet what are you doing we're going to give you a couple seconds to do that did you do it good night question content and welcome to our family also follow me on my socials this week who participate in polls all that fun stuff or what i love let's just get into this okay so before i say anything confidence is 100 not a one size fits all so the things that i'm going to talk about are tips and tricks that are personally worked for me that i've used that i've seen work but again it's not a one size fits all so you have to find what works for you okay so i feel like a lot of times i give you guys these tips and tricks yo guys are like oh my god you're so wise like she's just so mature and it's like i never really tell you guys how i got to that point so i'm definitely gonna start this off by talking about my own situation so i was not this way forever i promise you that guarantee it back when i was younger i definitely was not confident i really didn't know my words and that's because i was making th crucial mistake of putting my work in the hands of other people i feel like i've mentioned this to you guys before but growing up i definitely stood out in my school environment and i was not the standard of beauty at all so obviously growing up because of that i was not getting you know a lot of the same attention actually let me not even lie i was not getting any attention from any of the guys like at all for a majority of my um education up until high school and was really close friends with the girls that were getting all that attention for me you know i didn't need the world looking at me but you know somebody would have been nice so this really started to weigh me down because i'm like oh well i'm not wanted in the way that other people are wanting so in my mind i'm thinking so that i must not be as valuable clearly they value these other traits that i don't have but the difference was the value was being placed in external traits the biggest mistake we can ever make is putting our value in tangible things things like hair clothes makeup height skin tone like the problem with that is the beauty standard is always going to shift right so you're chasing something that you'll never permanently have therefore your value is never going to be permanent to you it's always going to be temporary it's going to shift with the wind your value lies in things that you cannot even see your value is internally your value lies in who you are what do you stand for what you put on at the end of the day what clothes you have on what makeup you have it means nothing also putting your value in the actions of others so if a guy doesn't come up to you enough or you're not getting the attention like me you're not getting the attention that everyone else is getting putting your value in something that you cannot control i cannot control the actions of others nor do the actions of others reflect me and who i am and how much i'm valued because trust me them same people when i got older huh same people was on me too late no but seriously place your value in the things that actually matter place your worth in the things that actually matter promise you this hair this makeup is closed the trends are here today and go on tomorrow and your worth and confidence cannot be the same it cannot be that fleeting it needs to be solid in whatever circumstances and the way you do that is by placing it in things that are solid like who you are inside as hallmark card as that sounds it's the truth i feel my most confident and empowered when i'm helping some people that need it successfully when i'm standing on my loyalty to my friends my relationship i feel my most confident empowered when i'm doing things that are internal doing things that no one can see to the blind eye because at the end of the day that's a secret between you and yourself it's an accomplishment for you to then view yourself and say hey i did it you know what i'm saying versus feeling confident and empowered off the approval and likes of others you might think that you feel you're most confident when you get a lot of likes on a picture or you get a lot of confidence at school that day but truly that's not confidence that's just temporary void filling so you feel this void right you have this void because your confidence and worth is so dependent on others so when you're not getting it it drains that out so you're empty there you're feeling that void then it gets temporarily filled back up with the thoughts and approval and likes of others that's an empty cup that'll just never be filled because you will never have the approval and likeness and all of this from others that you want 24 7. you won't have it and the sooner that you realize that the sooner you can work on things that matter everybody's not going to like you and especially everybody's not going to like you 24 7. so if everything is dependent on that you're going to be empty for quite a long time and we cannot have that once i woke up and realized hey why am i letting these other people define who i am to myself how important i am to myself and others why am i letting them decide what the beauty standard is and if i do or don't fit into that who is anyone else to say and why do i want to fit that why am i craving to be like everybody else you can never be them and they can never be you and that's the special thing about you you are literally one of one and that makes you more than enough more than worthy because no one else could be you and i think we just put so much value on how we are on the outside right we put so much value into what do we look like to others how do others perceive us do they like me and even if it is internally do they like me for who i am there's so much value there and that's unfortunate because then that's where our confidence lies but confidence can come in so many different shapes and forms and so many different avenues you can be confident in the talent you have and that can make you feel empowered you can be confident in a skill you have and that can mak you empowered there's probably so many skills and hobbies and things that you haven't even tried out because you're so focused on your outward appearance confidence that you're not even trying other avenues to see what else you could be great at that can build you up as well try things live your life i've had issues also where i was comparing myself visually to others right because i fel pretty confident in who i was i always had a lot of friends i felt pretty confident in who i was as a human being but i wasn't confident in how i stood in comparison to the girls next to me right i had a best friend who was the complete opposite i'm telling you guys this because you may identify with either one but she wasn't confident in who she was on the inside she was confident in her outward appearance but she felt like she couldn't stand in comparison to others who were more outgoing than her more um funny than her anything like that she felt unfulfilled in that area and i've tol you guys this once and i will say again and again and again comparison is the biggest thief of joy because no matter how you imitate somebody else or what what hairstyle you do or what joke you try to tell you'll never successfully imitate somebody else ever and it's impossible for you to be somebody else so the best thing for you to do is to try to be the best version of yourself stop trying to be funny like the girl next to you or outgoing like the girl next to you stop trying to do your makeup like the girl next to you or your hair like the girl next to you be the best version of yourself and watch how you flourish internally externally everything and it's so natural to naturally compare yourself to those around you especially with the competitive nature of our society but this is where self-awareness and self-control comes in very clutch when those feelings come up and you're you're feeling that comparison or you're feeling that insecurity because of those around you when that starts to come up you have to grab it and push that down and the only way for you to push that down is for you to say you know what why am i trying to be somebody that's not me take that feeling of inadequacy and that feeling of low self worth low stuff value and do nsomething to fill it what are you good at what makes you feel empowered what makes you feel happy with yourself what makes you feel worthy go do that fill the void with your own cup pour into yourself stop pouring your thoughts and attention into everybody else but also sometimes if we suppress those feelings too much they'll kind of bottle and explode so it's very important for you to be open and honest with somebody that you trust or even yourself within a journal something like that where you can just be open and honest about the feelings that you're having sometimes verbalizing or even visualizing the things that we're feeling can really help us process why we're feeling that way and how we can stop feeling that way in the future also i told you guys this in my other video making lists making gratitude lists what are you grateful for that you have what do you feel confident about in yourself i think a lot of time we spend so much time focusing on what we don't love that we miss all the things that we do love about ourselves and make sure you are focusing on the things that you love about yourself that are internal take the focus off of what you look like so at the end of the day that is so small in the grand scheme of things as much as the world tries to highlight it i promise you who you are and your value and self-worth will take you so much farther it's also important for you to disconnect sometimes at the end of the day i still set that time aside to put the phone down i still especially if i'm feeling that type of way if i'm having a bad day or you know my value and stuff is not feeling that strong that day just to believe i'm not going to spend a lot of time on social media because that'll only amplify the problem social media is like a breeding ground for us to be comparing ourselves and feeling inadequate a lot of the times right if you are feeling that way it's probably not the best outlet for you to go to try to go out spend some time out with people that love you fill your own cup back up doing things that are detrimental while you're already in a low space not a good idea mama or if you are going to go on social media or you have to go on social media make sure you're engaging with accounts and people that make you feel good about yourself not poor about yourself make sure you're unfollowing people that don't make you feel good about yourself and that's nothing personal if somebody has i don't know the traits or the personality or whatever it is that you are craving so bad to have it's probably not a good idea for you to be consistently interacting with accounts like that until you're in a better space where you can do that because right now you're just not and that's okay learn when to say when and that does not make you weak at all i think a lot of times people feel like i can do it i can do it and you're just forcing yourself to be ready for things that you're not know when to say when know when to say no i'm not ready being able to say these things about yourself makes you the farthest thing from weak that makes you extremely self-aware which is strength you know how hard it is to not want to go creep on somebody's page to not want to keep interacting with somebody that makes you feel bad about yourself because we get addicted to those feelings sometimes it's fun to feel that way now isn't it let me get in y'all sometimes those feelings of self-loathing and indulging in poor behaviors that you know are making you get deeper into that hole sometimes that's addicting sometimes it's like i want to keep feeling this way because it's harder for me to crawl myself out of this home but i promise you as hard as it seems you are more than capable of doing it if you've always self-loathed and you've always spoken negatively about yourself and you've always kind of felt yourself worth being low that's all you know so you're comfortable there so it can be very scary for you to have to experience something else if you've never experienced self-positivity and self-love it's very scary to have to do that all of a sudden and it's uncomfortable as hard as it seems and as uncomfortable as it may feel for you to keep trying to put yourself in spaces that you've not been in before it will be so rewarding for you i promise the positivity and the love that you have for yourself will carry you right through that at the end of the day the first step in all of this is just identifying what's going on in the first place identifying like hey i think my worth and value isn't in my own hands i think it is in the other hands of people i don't think i have control over this thing whether that's personality-wise localized whatever it is and sometimes we even trick ourselves into thinking that we're in control because we're constantly doing things to fill that cup right back up we're constantly making the jokes to get um approval out of others so we're constantly doing our hands way you're doing your makeup this way you're saying this and saying that we're constantly doing that so you think that your cup is always full when really your cup is always draining you're just frantically trying to fill it back up and it's like oh i'm confident i feel this way every day well yeah because you're doing those negative and those toxic filling behaviors every day there are skills and talents and values and traits that you have that come naturally to you that are specific to you you can be funny and the next person can be funny but you won't be funny in the same wa even if you're compatible you're different nobody's humor is exactly like mine nobody's kindness is exactly like mine nobody's compassion nothing what makes us special is not whose hips are the widest or whose hair is the most voluminous or who is the funniest in the room or who is i don't know the wittiest none of that is what makes anybody special and nobody is better than , there's her page i saw your comment on my last blog and it made me laugh i just want to let you know that i love you so much and that will never change all right guys make sure you  comment, share and  subscribe .